e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

(Source: heathledgers, via grilledcheezed)

neptunain:

what if you tried to call off of work and you are just like “im sick today” and your boss was like “i know dude you’re one of the sickest bros here” and you were like “no i mean it im ill” and your boss says “yeah you the illest” 

(via grilledcheezed)

tumblr didn’t ruin my life i was already a loser before i joined this website

(via asvprock)

(Source: vinebox, via joshpeck)

awidesetvagina:

this is still the best story ever told at a talk show

The entire cast of parks is so lovely.

(via parkingstrange)

meowgon:

kinginthewest:

it’s just like, why are there cat emojis for loads of emotions as well as normal humans emojis

image

like, when do i need to express these emotions… but as a cat

they’re not for you… they’re for ME

image

(via sherloki-221b)

laughatthestars:

today, my school hosted an exhibit for suicide awareness day. the exhibit included 1,100 backpacks in representation of the number of lives that are lost to mental illness each year on college campuses. many of these backpacks were donated by the families that lost loved ones and had their stories attached. i’m so proud of my school for bringing attention to such a serious issue.

(via condom)